Dream a Little Dream

Can I tell you a secret? 

This past week was the best week I've had since February of last year. Easily. 

I didn't "go" on vacation. 

I didn't book an airbnb or hotel. 

I didn't spend a lot of money. 

So how the hell was it restful? 

I created the expectation that I wouldn't be available. 

I looked at email once a day. 

I blocked my calendar. 

I put timers on all my distracting apps on my phone. 

Most importantly, I played. 

I spent $35 at Michaels for crafty stuff. I downloaded a Golden Girls digital coloring book from Etsy. I spun around on skates. I made a snowman out of playdoh called Hans...there's a whole backstory🤣. I created a vision "board" of outcomes I want with an embroidery hoop. I had 10 minute dance parties. I drank tea outside and journaled, allergens be damned. I bounced around on a knock-off skip it and I let myself have fun. I laughed a lot.

I engaged in true restorative care. I got rest. 

Did I finish all of those things? Of course not, but that's the point. You don't have to. You need to come back to it everyday. In some form or fashion, you need to be practicing rest.

Maybe you're like me and thought rest was simply sleeping or decompressing with Netflix. It's not. It's pouring into yourself. It's processing, truly processing, your feelings. It's creating a clean slate for yourself everyday. It's restoration. 

It seems odd to do that in the middle of the country burning down, doesn't it? But its inconvenience only highlighted its urgency. I felt intense guilt at the beginning but it faded quickly when I got a stiff shot of perspective:

When I give myself permission to rest, I give myself permission to dream.

Dreams are necessary to equity and justice work. MLK didn't make a speech about it for nothing. You have to see and feel an outcome before it's there. You have to fight for results that your present circumstances don't allow. That's how things change. Dreams are the crux of every movement, every home purchase, every "I do," every decision to start a family, every wild and necessary and beautiful thing. 

If dreams are what you're fighting for, you've got to rest. 

Not just when you have time or when it's convenient. There will always be something worthy to say yes to. But you're useless if you're burned out. As a Black woman doing this kind of work, engaging in this kind of trauma, I don't just want the option to practice restorative care, I must. 

Restoration and boundaries are a necessity. Give yourself permission not to simply believe this but actually practice it.